So the tree bore fruit and I went from being “never been kissed” to pregnant in a span of a year.
Of course there were other factors that egged me on further (otherwise, I should have awoken somehow within that period) but we won’t talk about that. I don’t intend to justify my actions by the incidents to which I responded incorrectly to. Suffice it to say that I acted out for a long period of time…as if I had not known the goodness of God or the fear of the Lord. And I am sorry for that.
Fast forward to February of 1999, I knew I was pregnant; and there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to keep her. I told the father of my child and he had mixed emotions – happy to have a child with me but fearful of the reaction of his sister who was paying for his college education; but nonetheless also ready to take on the reality of having our first child. So, yes, I was not left hanging in fear or whatever. I was only saddened by the realization (which, of course, came much too late) that my mother would be more devastated than my Dad, whom I purposely wanted to hurt.
Highlights of this story: abortion was never entertained, there was no fear of what the future holds, and I was determined to take on the consequences and take full responsibility of what came with my actions.
Arriving at this point in my “Beauty from the Ruins” story in time for Mother’s Day was coincidental, but the significance is not lost on me.
So I’m shifting the landing a little differently.
Not all of us became mothers by choice. Not all of us was sure of how we were going to proceed. Not everyone had a good support system to lean on when less-than-ideal situations came around. But all good mothers make the decision to rise up to it, whether immediately, a little later, or much, much later.
May we all find it in our hearts to play a little part in the village that supports that mother and her children in any way that we can. Yes, I know some can be abusive; and that’s where discernment comes in. I’m not asking you to be tolerant…I’m just asking you to be an enabler for those who want to rise up to the occasion.
In the same thread, I would like to honor the men who don’t cringe at the responsibility but own up to their part in making the expecting part of the motherhood journey such a wonderful experience to have.
And let us not forget the hand of the Lord in all of this. Even when our will has led us to paths not as beautifully paved as the one we could have taken, He always finds a way to redeem the situation…making our history His story!
Children are a gift from theĀ Lord; they are a reward from him. (Psalm 127:3)
